The Funny Side of Life

For Women Only

A woman's sense of humour - sorry men, but it is funny...

He said . . . I don't now why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said . . . You wear pants don't you?

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He said . . . Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . . . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

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He said . . . What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said . . .Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

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He said . . . Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm?
She said . . I would but you're never there.

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On a wall in a ladies room . . . "My husband follows me everywhere"
Written just below it . . . " I do not"

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Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
A. Both of them.

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Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay?
A. They don't have time

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Q. What do men and sperm have in common?
A. They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.

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Q. How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
A. He buys two cases of beer.

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Q. What is the difference between men and government bonds?
A. The bonds mature.

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Q. Why are blonde jokes so short?
A. So men can remember them.

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Q. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A. We don't know; it has never happened.

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Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
A . They already have boyfriends.

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Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A. A widow.

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Q. Why are married women heavier than single women?
A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

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Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
A. They're married.

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Q. What do you call the piece of flesch at the end of a penis?
A. A man

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